Taking Care of Yourself and Keeping CPS Out of Your Life

What You Should Know about Neglect ¹

“When I found out I was going to be a mom, I was scared. But I also looked at motherhood as something empowering and a great blessing.

But as it turned out, for most of my pregnancy, I felt very alone. That made me too dependent on the baby’s father, with whom I had a difficult relationship. One day we got into a fight in the street. When the fight got violent, the police were called, and they called ACS.

When I found out they were investigating me for neglect, I was dumbfounded. I didn’t see any connection between my child’s father attacking me and me being neglectful. I thought neglect meant parents who don’t care for their kids or let them go hungry, and that wasn’t me at all.

-Former youth in foster care, Rise Know-Your-Rights Presentation 

Neglect can mean very different things under the law, which is why so many parents are surprised when an allegation of neglect is called in against them to the State Central Register A database maintained by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services (OCFS) which tracks all reports made pursuant to the Social Services Law. Staff at SCR receive phone calls, from both mandated and non-mandated reporters, of alleged child abuse or maltreatment in New York State, and share that information with Child Protective Services (CPS). They also identify prior cases of abuse or neglect. Being listed in SCR may prevent you from being able to access certain jobs. (SCR). Young parents in foster care sometimes have unnecessary reports An account of alleged child abuse or neglect that is told to staff at the State Central Register or Child Abuse Hotline. Reports are supposed to be made when there is a belief that the child is at imminent risk of harm. made against them because mandated reporters Working individuals who are legally obligated to keep your information confidential EXCEPT if they have a reason to believe that you may hurt yourself or someone else. If a mandated reporter believes that you or your child is at risk of abuse or neglect, they must raise that concern with Children’s Services, typically through a hotline. are scared that if they don’t call, they could get in trouble.

As scary and upsetting as it can be to think about CPS getting involved in your life, it’s important for parents in foster care to know how abuse and neglect are defined under the law and what might lead to a report of abuse or neglect against them so that you know how to protect yourself and your family.

According to the Child Welfare Organizing Project’s Child Welfare Survival Guide:

• You don’t have to hurt your child on purpose to be charged with abuse or neglect.
• Even if your child is hurt by accident or by someone else, that can be considered neglect if you did not take active steps to protect your child.
• You can be charged with neglect for doing something that creates a risk where your child could be harmed, even if your child does not get hurt.
• Abuse and neglect do not always result in a physical injury. Abuse and neglect can also include mental and emotional harm.

If you know the most common reasons that neglect reports are made against young parents in foster care, you can take steps to address any issues you have. You can learn more about those common reasons below.

Drug or alcohol use that impairs your ability to care for your child: There are many kinds of drug use that can bring CPS into your life; the most common type is marijuana.

Many young parents are surprised that using marijuana can be a basis for a neglect allegation The “charges” against you in Family Court. Allegations are what ACS is saying you did or didn’t do that caused or could have caused neglect or abuse of your child. against them. Based on current ACS policy, you should not be found neglectful for marijuana use by itself, unless it impacts your ability to care for and supervise your children and keep them safe. But many parents say that, in reality, substance use alone can get you in trouble. That’s true for alcohol consumption, too. Even though drinking alcohol is legal once you turn 21, a judge can say that being high or drunk affects your ability to safely care for your children.

Talking to your lawyer about drug or alcohol use can be uncomfortable, but it is important to talk to someone, especially your lawyer, so you can make decisions about how you want to address any drug or alcohol issues, how it might impact a CPS investigation, and what you might need to do to keep your family together and safe.

Read this story by a young father about how smoking marijuana brought child protective services into his life.

Losing your temper with your child, with your partner, or with another adult in front of your child: When you’re a parent, you often find yourself tired, and being tired can lead to strong emotions, which in turn can lead to yelling or saying hurtful things. All parents have experienced that.

Most parents don’t think about whether blowing up, screaming, throwing something, kicking the wall, or even physical fighting will lead to a call to CPS, but young parents in foster care need to be mindful that if you are seen as losing control with your child present, your foster parent or staff may feel it necessary to make a report to the State Central Register A database maintained by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services (OCFS) which tracks all reports made pursuant to the Social Services Law. Staff at SCR receive phone calls, from both mandated and non-mandated reporters, of alleged child abuse or maltreatment in New York State, and share that information with Child Protective Services (CPS). They also identify prior cases of abuse or neglect. Being listed in SCR may prevent you from being able to access certain jobs..

The same holds for arguments with your partner. While some verbal arguments might just get loud or a situation may get out of hand in a way that doesn’t seem like a big deal to you or your partner, as an outsider to your relationship, your foster parent, group home staff, or ACS might see it differently. This is especially true if your child is present or if the situation gets physical.

While this can seem unfair, you may want to work with a therapist, lawyer, or other trusted individual to help you calm down when you get upset, or make a plan on your own for how you can take a break when you’re tired and stressed.

That may include figuring out an approved person you can leave your child with for 15 minutes so you can take a walk, or asking your caseworker if your foster care agency can provide you with a playpen so you can put your baby down for a few minutes while you take a breath. You might also put your child into the stroller and go outdoors to cool down.

Having a plan doesn’t mean you’ll always follow it, but it increases the chances that you will.

Surviving relationship violence: Being a survivor of relationship violence (also called intimate partner violence) Relationship violence is when abuse or aggression occurs in an intimate partner relationship. “Intimate partners” are those who you are currently dating or have dated. This sort of violence can show up in different forms, such as physical, sexual, emotional, or psychological violence, stalking, or other harassment. Relationship violence can happen to anyone, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. is not neglect and it’s not your fault. You may be staying in a relationship because you care about your partner, because you are afraid to leave, for the sake of your child, and/or because you depend on your partner for emotional, financial or other support.

But you do have a legal obligation to protect your child. If you’re in a violent relationship and you stay in that relationship knowing that you are exposing your child to possible violence, that can be considered neglect When a child under age 18 experiences physical, mental, or emotional impairment, or is in imminent danger of becoming impaired, as a result of the inability to exercise a minimum degree of care by their parent or other legally responsible caregiver. In New York, neglect is defined by Soc. Serv. Law § 371; Family Court Act § 1012. Neglect can be physical, medical, educational, or emotional, and may include a parent failing to provide adequate supervision, food, medical care, appropriate clothing, or access to education. Neglect could also include leaving a child alone or with an inappropriate caretaker, insulting a child, making the child feel afraid, or taking drugs or drinking alcohol to the point of not being able to adequately take care of a child.. This is true even though you don’t mean for anything to happen to your child and when your child has never been physically harmed.

If you are the person starting physical fights in the presence of your child, that will also be a concern for CPS and could be considered neglectful. Regardless of your role in a violent or toxic relationship, there are many services that can help you create a safer environment for your child.

The advocate or social worker on your legal team A team that represents you in family court. You may have two separate legal teams: one that represents you as a young person in foster care, and a second that represents you if you become the subject of an investigation for abuse or neglect or if you go to court as a respondent parent in a child protective case. The two legal teams can collaborate with your permission, and support you in both types of cases. Both of your legal teams are made up of a lawyer, social worker, and advocate. Your lawyer is responsible for representing your best interests in and out of court. They will advocate for your needs in court, and explain the legal process to you. If you face abuse or neglect allegations, they will respond to those allegations. The social worker will work with your lawyer and your advocate to ensure that your needs are heard and understood, and, if you are facing allegations against you, to understand the circumstances that led to them. Your social worker or your advocate can work to connect you to supports and services that are right for you. Your social worker cannot represent you in court nor can they provide legal advice, but they can attend conferences with you and speak with your caseworker on your behalf. Your advocate is a trained professional who is responsible for helping you navigate the child welfare system and advocating for your rights. Like your social worker, your advocate can also help connect you to supports and services that are right for you. Many, though not all, advocates have been youth in care or parents who were impacted by the child welfare system themselves, and may be able to understand some of what you are experiencing because of their own experiences in the system. They cannot represent you in court nor provide legal advice. But they can attend conferences with you and speak with your caseworker on your behalf. may be able to help you think about your options and next steps.

It’s important to address mental health diagnoses: Mental health is one of the most common and complicated types of neglect cases for young parents. Almost every person who has been in foster care has had a mental health evaluation and may have a diagnosis The identification of an illness or problem as determined by tests and explanation of symptoms.. You may also have been in therapy or prescribed medication, which you may or may not have felt was helpful or necessary for you, but if you’re not following your doctor’s recommendations and you haven’t made efforts to show why those recommendations are unhelpful or inappropriate, ACS or a judge could say that you are not keeping your child safe.

If you’re a parent in foster care or who grew up in care, it’s important to know what diagnoses and treatment history are in your records. Ask for copies of your records. If you think the diagnoses in your records are wrong or outdated, ask your doctor, therapist, or lawyer about getting a second opinion. If you don’t like your mental health services or think your medication is not working for you, talk to your doctor, therapist, or the social worker in your lawyer’s office about whether there are other options for treatment or reevaluation.

You definitely don’t have to agree with everything that’s said about you or prescribed for you, but not addressing the mental health concerns in your record can put your child at risk of being removed from your care.

Going “missing” with your child: According to the ACS Guide to Working with Young Parents in Out-of-Home Care, a call to the State Central Register A database maintained by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services (OCFS) which tracks all reports made pursuant to the Social Services Law. Staff at SCR receive phone calls, from both mandated and non-mandated reporters, of alleged child abuse or maltreatment in New York State, and share that information with Child Protective Services (CPS). They also identify prior cases of abuse or neglect. Being listed in SCR may prevent you from being able to access certain jobs. should only be made when a young parent is missing from care and the reporter “has reasonable cause to suspect that the young parent or the child is being neglected or abused, and not simply because they are missing from care or absent from placement. Caseworkers must attempt to locate the young parent and assess the child’s safety before calling the SCR.”

However, the reality is that when your foster parent or group home staff don’t know where you and/or your child are, they may worry that either one of you may be in danger and likely will decide to make a report An account of alleged child abuse or neglect that is told to staff at the State Central Register or Child Abuse Hotline. Reports are supposed to be made when there is a belief that the child is at imminent risk of harm.. It’s important to remember that, while you do have custody of your child, the foster care agency and ACS will also be held accountable if something happens to you or your child, and they may feel the need to take action to protect you, your child, and themselves.

Young people in foster care, like most people, just want to live their lives and it’s hard to always have people telling you what to do or where you can be. Wanting and taking space for yourself isn’t wrong, but having a child means that you now have to make a plan and reach an agreement with others before you do it.

So, talk to the people caring for you and reach an agreement about shared expectations:

• When do you need to let people know where you’re going and when do you have the freedom to be out on your own not reporting to anyone?
• Do you have to get approval for who you’ll be with?
• Do you have a time when you and your child are expected to be home?
• Do you have a way to call, text, or otherwise communicate if your plans change?

Leaving your child alone or without making clear care-taking plans: When you’re in a foster or group home, you may think that it’s okay to go out because there are other adults around who can watch your child, but unless you have agreed that your foster parent or a staff member is going to watch your child for you, this can be considered neglect When a child under age 18 experiences physical, mental, or emotional impairment, or is in imminent danger of becoming impaired, as a result of the inability to exercise a minimum degree of care by their parent or other legally responsible caregiver. In New York, neglect is defined by Soc. Serv. Law § 371; Family Court Act § 1012. Neglect can be physical, medical, educational, or emotional, and may include a parent failing to provide adequate supervision, food, medical care, appropriate clothing, or access to education. Neglect could also include leaving a child alone or with an inappropriate caretaker, insulting a child, making the child feel afraid, or taking drugs or drinking alcohol to the point of not being able to adequately take care of a child.. It is ultimately your responsibility to care for your child and/or make sure your child is cared for. If you want to make a babysitting arrangement with another young parent in your group or foster home, you should talk to your caseworker first to make sure that your friend is an approved resource for your child. The younger your child, the more likely it is for CPS to consider that you may have neglected your child if you leave your child without making care-taking plans.

If you do decide to leave your child with an approved resource, make sure that they have everything they need to care for your child and that they know when you will return, if your plans change, and most importantly, how to reach you. If you plan carefully and keep your foster parent, staff, and/or the approved babysitter updated, the less likely anyone will call in a report against you for being “missing.”

Visiting someone or leaving your child with someone with a past history of violence, an indicated case, an open investigation, or any other safety concern: If people in your family, your co-parent, your co-parent’s family, or anyone else you see on a regular basis have indicated A case in which some credible evidence of abuse or neglect is found. If indicated with no- or low-risk, you have the option of enrolling in preventive services. High risk means that you will likely have to complete voluntary or court mandated services, and immediate danger means that safety measures will be put in place, such as a judge determining that your child should be put in foster care. Indicated Reports are kept in the Statewide Central Register of Child Abuse and Maltreatment (SCR). Reports to SCR that are “Indicated” are expunged (erased completely) after eight years. cases against them or criminal records, that doesn’t mean they can’t be around your child, but it does mean that you should tell your lawyer. This is also true if a mandated reporter Working individuals who are legally obligated to keep your information confidential EXCEPT if they have a reason to believe that you may hurt yourself or someone else. If a mandated reporter believes that you or your child is at risk of abuse or neglect, they must raise that concern with Children’s Services, typically through a hotline. might have any other safety concerns about the people you visit or leave your child with.

For instance, if you and your co-parent Someone who shares in the custody and care of your child. have had physical fights in the past, but you still want your co-parent involved in your child’s life, you should talk to your legal team A team that represents you in family court. You may have two separate legal teams: one that represents you as a young person in foster care, and a second that represents you if you become the subject of an investigation for abuse or neglect or if you go to court as a respondent parent in a child protective case. The two legal teams can collaborate with your permission, and support you in both types of cases. Both of your legal teams are made up of a lawyer, social worker, and advocate. Your lawyer is responsible for representing your best interests in and out of court. They will advocate for your needs in court, and explain the legal process to you. If you face abuse or neglect allegations, they will respond to those allegations. The social worker will work with your lawyer and your advocate to ensure that your needs are heard and understood, and, if you are facing allegations against you, to understand the circumstances that led to them. Your social worker or your advocate can work to connect you to supports and services that are right for you. Your social worker cannot represent you in court nor can they provide legal advice, but they can attend conferences with you and speak with your caseworker on your behalf. Your advocate is a trained professional who is responsible for helping you navigate the child welfare system and advocating for your rights. Like your social worker, your advocate can also help connect you to supports and services that are right for you. Many, though not all, advocates have been youth in care or parents who were impacted by the child welfare system themselves, and may be able to understand some of what you are experiencing because of their own experiences in the system. They cannot represent you in court nor provide legal advice. But they can attend conferences with you and speak with your caseworker on your behalf. about how to work that out. You should also think twice before leaving your child with someone who uses drugs or alcohol, or has untreated mental health issues, because your agency or ACS may not consider them appropriate caretakers.

Fair or not, it’s important to address any safety concerns that a mandated reporter might have about the people in your life by talking to your legal team A team that represents you in family court. You may have two separate legal teams: one that represents you as a young person in foster care, and a second that represents you if you become the subject of an investigation for abuse or neglect or if you go to court as a respondent parent in a child protective case. The two legal teams can collaborate with your permission, and support you in both types of cases. Both of your legal teams are made up of a lawyer, social worker, and advocate. Your lawyer is responsible for representing your best interests in and out of court. They will advocate for your needs in court, and explain the legal process to you. If you face abuse or neglect allegations, they will respond to those allegations. The social worker will work with your lawyer and your advocate to ensure that your needs are heard and understood, and, if you are facing allegations against you, to understand the circumstances that led to them. Your social worker or your advocate can work to connect you to supports and services that are right for you. Your social worker cannot represent you in court nor can they provide legal advice, but they can attend conferences with you and speak with your caseworker on your behalf. Your advocate is a trained professional who is responsible for helping you navigate the child welfare system and advocating for your rights. Like your social worker, your advocate can also help connect you to supports and services that are right for you. Many, though not all, advocates have been youth in care or parents who were impacted by the child welfare system themselves, and may be able to understand some of what you are experiencing because of their own experiences in the system. They cannot represent you in court nor provide legal advice. But they can attend conferences with you and speak with your caseworker on your behalf. and making a plan to address those concerns.

Other causes of abuse or neglect: Other actions that might be considered abuse or neglect include: allowing your child to miss many days of school; using physical discipline on your child or verbally disciplining your child in such a way that could cause emotional harm; not keeping your child up to date on their medical or dental care; failing to provide your child with adequate food, clothing, or shelter; engaging in inappropriate sexual, criminal, or violent behavior in front your child; and having a dirty home.

If you’re struggling with any of these issues or have questions about what is or is not okay to do as a parent, talk to your legal team A team that represents you in family court. You may have two separate legal teams: one that represents you as a young person in foster care, and a second that represents you if you become the subject of an investigation for abuse or neglect or if you go to court as a respondent parent in a child protective case. The two legal teams can collaborate with your permission, and support you in both types of cases. Both of your legal teams are made up of a lawyer, social worker, and advocate. Your lawyer is responsible for representing your best interests in and out of court. They will advocate for your needs in court, and explain the legal process to you. If you face abuse or neglect allegations, they will respond to those allegations. The social worker will work with your lawyer and your advocate to ensure that your needs are heard and understood, and, if you are facing allegations against you, to understand the circumstances that led to them. Your social worker or your advocate can work to connect you to supports and services that are right for you. Your social worker cannot represent you in court nor can they provide legal advice, but they can attend conferences with you and speak with your caseworker on your behalf. Your advocate is a trained professional who is responsible for helping you navigate the child welfare system and advocating for your rights. Like your social worker, your advocate can also help connect you to supports and services that are right for you. Many, though not all, advocates have been youth in care or parents who were impacted by the child welfare system themselves, and may be able to understand some of what you are experiencing because of their own experiences in the system. They cannot represent you in court nor provide legal advice. But they can attend conferences with you and speak with your caseworker on your behalf. about how to resolve them. There’s no such thing as a perfect parent, and there are times when situations are out of your control, but the more you can show what efforts you’ve made to keep your child safe, the better protected you are.