When you’re a parent and you’re in foster care, it’s important to know that you, not your agency, are the parent, and you have the right to make decisions for your child. You also have a right to support so that you AND your child can thrive!
You Have a Right to Be a Parent
You have the right to make decisions for your child. Your child will NOT automatically be placed in foster care just because you’re in foster care. That means you have the right to make decisions about your child’s education, medical care, and most other child-rearing decisions.
Your child will only be placed in foster care if you voluntarily agree, in writing, to place them with ACS, or if a neglectWhen a child under age 18 experiences physical, mental, or emotional impairment, or is in imminent danger of becoming impaired, as a result of the inability to exercise a minimum degree of care by their parent or other legally responsible caregiver. In New York, neglect is defined by Soc. Serv. Law § 371; Family Court Act § 1012. Neglect can be physical, medical, educational, or emotional, and may include a parent failing to provide adequate supervision, food, medical care, appropriate clothing, or access to education. Neglect could also include leaving a child alone or with an inappropriate caretaker, insulting a child, making the child feel afraid, or taking drugs or drinking alcohol to the point of not being able to adequately take care of a child. or abuseThe Office of Children and Family Services defines abuse as being when a parent or person legally responsible for a child causes the child significant physical injury, creates a great risk of physical injury, or sexually abuses a child case is filed against you and a judge decides that your child would be in immediate danger if they remain in your care. Always talk to your lawyer before signing a legal document that places your child in foster care.
You have the right to get support from people you believe will be helpful to you. There are lots of ways to get support as a new parent:
There are home visiting programs that will help you learn about your child’s physical and emotional needs in your own home.
New York City has mentors for young parents in foster care and peer mentors who are knowledgeable about parenting, as well as parenting supporting groups for young parents if you want to talk to someone with similar experiences as you.
Parent-child therapyA family-centered treatment approach composed of behavioral and play therapy, used for children ages two to eight and their caregivers. The approach is meant to teach caregivers—which may include parents, adoptive parents, foster or kin caregivers—strategies promoting positive behaviors in children who have “disruptive or externalizing behavior problems.” programs can support you in bonding with your baby and learning about your baby’s development. Some of these programs will videotape you and your baby to help you learn about how your baby feels and responds.
There are groups to support fathers.
There are parent-child classes that can help you just enjoy being with your child.
There are early intervention services if you think your child is not reaching their developmental milestones. You can read more about early intervention services here.
If you are interested in enrolling in any of these programs, ask your caseworker, or the social worker or advocate on your legal team about resources that are available to you.
Read about parent-child video therapy here and here.
“Girl, you better stop crying,” my grandmother said. I was young. Holding tears back was hard. My throat closed up and my head began to spin.
My grandmother was a warrior. She was my soldier. When I was little, everything she did was right in my eyes. I just couldn’t understand why I wasn’t supposed to cry.
Children require lots of different kinds of support, and that includes money! When you’re in foster care, you have the right to financial support to cover all your child’s basic needs including housing, food, clothes and diapers.
Figuring out how the stipend is spent can be tricky. Here’s what you need to understand so you can have a say in making financial decisions for your child.
You have a right to financial support for your child. If you have custody of your child and you are living together, there is a subsidyA grant or gift of money given to a person, business, or institution either directly (direct payment) or indirectly (tax cut), usually by the government or a government-backed institution. for you AND a separate subsidy for your child! That subsidy should cover your child’s housing, food, clothes, and diapers. If anyone tells you that they’re buying food or clothes for your child out of their own pocket, that probably isn’t true.
Your foster parent is the one who receives the money for your child and has final say over how it is spent. While the stipend is for your child’s expenses, it is your foster parent or group home that receives it and has ultimate authority to spend it. Remember, your foster parent may have expenses that are not immediately apparent to you, such as rent, if they are setting aside space in their apartment for your child.
You have the right to the equipment you need for your baby. This includes a crib, stroller, highchair, and car seat. You should speak with your caseworker about obtaining these if you don’t have them already. Your agency should help you access equipment and services from a public assistance program called Women, Infants and Children (WIC), including baby formula, if you are using it.
Your foster parent is required to include you in some financial decisions for your child. It is your foster parent or group home staff’s responsibility to prepare you for independent living, and that includes learning to make financial decisions for your child. Budgeting responsibilities should increase as you get older and gain more independence.
Unfortunately, there isn’t a clearly defined way that’s supposed to happen, which means protecting your right to be a part of the financial decision-making process can be complicated. If you are having trouble negotiating your role in deciding how your child’s stipend is spent, you can ask for support from your caseworker and/or your legal teamA team that represents you in family court. You may have two separate legal teams: one that represents you as a young person in foster care, and a second that represents you if you become the subject of an investigation for abuse or neglect or if you go to court as a respondent parent in a child protective case. The two legal teams can collaborate with your permission, and support you in both types of cases.
Both of your legal teams are made up of a lawyer, social worker, and advocate. Your lawyer is responsible for representing your best interests in and out of court. They will advocate for your needs in court, and explain the legal process to you. If you face abuse or neglect allegations, they will respond to those allegations.
The social worker will work with your lawyer and your advocate to ensure that your needs are heard and understood, and, if you are facing allegations against you, to understand the circumstances that led to them. Your social worker or your advocate can work to connect you to supports and services that are right for you. Your social worker cannot represent you in court nor can they provide legal advice, but they can attend conferences with you and speak with your caseworker on your behalf.
Your advocate is a trained professional who is responsible for helping you navigate the child welfare system and advocating for your rights. Like your social worker, your advocate can also help connect you to supports and services that are right for you. Many, though not all, advocates have been youth in care or parents who were impacted by the child welfare system themselves, and may be able to understand some of what you are experiencing because of their own experiences in the system. They cannot represent you in court nor provide legal advice. But they can attend conferences with you and speak with your caseworker on your behalf..
You can use the tips and worksheet below to get ready to negotiate to be involved in financial decision-making for your child and here for a negotiation worksheet.
You are not eligible for Food Stamps or Public Assistance benefits while in care. These benefits only become available to you after you leave the foster care system.
Child support can be a confusing and stressful part of parenting, especially if you’re not making much, or any, money yourself. To read more about child support and programs that can help you understand your rights and responsibilities. Read more about Father’s Rights.
Medical Care for Your Child
You may think that because you’re in foster care, you don’t have the right to choose a doctor for yourself or your child, but that is incorrect! You have the right to choose any doctor for yourself or your child that is covered by your Medicaid plan.
You have the right to medical care for your child. If you are in care and have custody of your child, you and your child should automatically be enrolled in Medicaid. Medicaid will cover your and your child’s doctors’ visits. If you age out of foster care, your caseworker should help you switch to Transitional Medicaid, which you will have until age 26.
You have the right to choose a doctor for your child. Most agencies have contracted doctors, but you have the right to choose any doctor covered by your Medicaid plan for your child and yourself.
When you are older than age 12, you have the right to keep your Medicaid identification number and your child’s Medicaid identification number with you, so you can schedule doctor’s visits on your own with any doctor covered by your Medicaid plan. Although you won’t be given your or your child’s actual Medicaid card until you leave the system, you should be given your ID number by your caseworker.
If you are having trouble making an appointment with a doctor outside your agency or obtaining your Medicaid ID number, contact ACS’s Teen Specialist Unit at acs.sm.tsu@acs.nyc.gov.
You can make medical decisions for your child. You have a right to make medical decisions for your child and to change your child’s doctor. Having a good relationship with your child’s doctor is important. Feeling comfortable asking questions and sharing concerns will allow you to advocate for your child’s best interests!
If a doctor tells you that your child needs treatment, it’s the doctor’s responsibility to make sure you understand:
Why your child needs treatment;
The available treatments; and
The risks and benefits of available treatments.
The only time a doctor should reportAn account of alleged child abuse or neglect that is told to staff at the State Central Register or Child Abuse Hotline. Reports are supposed to be made when there is a belief that the child is at imminent risk of harm. a parent for medical neglectWhen a child under age 18 experiences physical, mental, or emotional impairment, or is in imminent danger of becoming impaired, as a result of the inability to exercise a minimum degree of care by their parent or other legally responsible caregiver. In New York, neglect is defined by Soc. Serv. Law § 371; Family Court Act § 1012. Neglect can be physical, medical, educational, or emotional, and may include a parent failing to provide adequate supervision, food, medical care, appropriate clothing, or access to education. Neglect could also include leaving a child alone or with an inappropriate caretaker, insulting a child, making the child feel afraid, or taking drugs or drinking alcohol to the point of not being able to adequately take care of a child. for making a decision that the doctor disagrees with is if the doctor believes you are putting your child at serious risk of harm; for instance, if you refuse treatment that might save your child’s life.
If you are unsure about a course of treatment that your doctor recommends, you can ask for more information. You can ask questions like:
Why does my child need treatment?
What are the possible side effects of treatment?
What options does my child have for treatment?
Is there information I can read about this treatment?
You can also say that you would like to discuss the treatment options with a trusted adult before deciding what option to choose. Saying no to a doctor can be hard, but asking for more time may be easier. You should never be pressured to make a medical decision for your child without adequate information or support.
Your child’s medical records are private. When you are in foster care, your agency has the right to see your medical records, whether you go to the doctor through your agency or to a doctor outside your agency, except for appointments related to your sexual and reproductive health. That information is confidentialAn agreement that the information you share with your caseworker, lawyer, organization, agency, or any other individual or group will not be shared with anyone else without your explicit permission, often in writing. Confidentiality also means you have the right to know what information you share can or will be shared with others, and how it will be shared. Remember, it is your right to decide how much to share and who you feel comfortable having your information shared with..
While your agency has the right to see your records, it does NOT have the right to see your child’s medical information without your permission, unless your child is placed in foster care by the courts or you voluntarily place your child in care. Sometimes sharing your child’s medical information can help you get support or services that will benefit your child, but if you don’t think sharing your child’s information will help, you have the right to keep your child’s information private, whether your child sees an agency doctor or a doctor outside the agency.
If you are worried that someone is incorrectly accessing your or your child’s medical record, talk to your lawyer.
Child Care
As a parent in foster care, you have the right to child care in order to continue with your own development, be it in school, work, or a work-training program. You may also have the right to child care if you can show that you are actively looking for work. Read more about your child care options below.
You have the right to child care if you are working or in school. Here are some options for finding child care if you are in school, a job-training program, working full time, or in some cases if you are actively looking for work:
LYFE: The Living for the Young Families through Education (LYFE) program helps young parents stay in school by providing free, on-site child care for the children of students at many New York City high schools and alternative schools in all five boroughs. Child care is available for children ages two months to two years. This is an option for any young parents who wish to finish their high school education. If you are in a LYFE program, you can access resources and support and may also be able to visit with your child during breaks in your school day.
If your school doesn’t have a LYFE program on site, your child can be enrolled at another school’s LYFE program. Learn more about the LYFE program.
Child care where you live: If you live in a foster home and you are working, in a job-training program or going to school, your foster parent is not working, and you are unable to obtain child care outside your home, then your foster parent should provide child care for your child. If you live in a group home or residential treatment center, you are working, in a job-training program or in school, and you are unable to obtain child care outside your home, staff should provide child care for you.
If you are having trouble getting the child care you need, contact your legal teamA team that represents you in family court. You may have two separate legal teams: one that represents you as a young person in foster care, and a second that represents you if you become the subject of an investigation for abuse or neglect or if you go to court as a respondent parent in a child protective case. The two legal teams can collaborate with your permission, and support you in both types of cases.
Both of your legal teams are made up of a lawyer, social worker, and advocate. Your lawyer is responsible for representing your best interests in and out of court. They will advocate for your needs in court, and explain the legal process to you. If you face abuse or neglect allegations, they will respond to those allegations.
The social worker will work with your lawyer and your advocate to ensure that your needs are heard and understood, and, if you are facing allegations against you, to understand the circumstances that led to them. Your social worker or your advocate can work to connect you to supports and services that are right for you. Your social worker cannot represent you in court nor can they provide legal advice, but they can attend conferences with you and speak with your caseworker on your behalf.
Your advocate is a trained professional who is responsible for helping you navigate the child welfare system and advocating for your rights. Like your social worker, your advocate can also help connect you to supports and services that are right for you. Many, though not all, advocates have been youth in care or parents who were impacted by the child welfare system themselves, and may be able to understand some of what you are experiencing because of their own experiences in the system. They cannot represent you in court nor provide legal advice. But they can attend conferences with you and speak with your caseworker on your behalf., caseworker or ACS’s Teen Specialist Unit at acs.sm.tsu@acs.nyc.gov.
ACS free or subsidized child care: If you are working, in a job-training program, in school or can show that you have been actively looking for work, and your foster parent is also working, ACS may be able to provide you child care.
In order to apply for ACS free or subsidized child care, your caseworker or an advocate at your agency should help you fill out the ECE-012 form. You can show that you are working, in a job-training program or in school and that your foster parent is working with your and your foster parent’s pay stubs, or a letter from your school or training center and your foster parent’s pay stubs. If your foster parent won’t give you pay stubs, ask your agency to write a letter confirming that your foster parent is working. That form should be submitted to fps.childcarereferral@acs.nyc.gov.
NYC EarlyLearn, vouchers, Head Start and other city programs: New York City’s Human Resources Administration provides a number of free or low-cost child care programs for children six weeks to four years-old if you are in school, in a job training program or are working and your foster parent is also working. Your foster parent must also meet the income eligibility requirements. This depends on availability and you may be placed on a waiting list. You can learn more about these programs here.
Whether or not you are in school or working, you have the right to child care once your child turns age four, and, in some places, age three: All children in New York City are eligible for free pre-k programs once they turn four. In many neighborhoods, children are eligible for free pre-k programs once they turn three.
Find out more about Pre-K and 3-K programs in New York City.
Early Intervention Services: You have a right to early intervention services if your child has special needs. You can read more about early intervention services here.
Free Classes, Camps and Other Programs for Youth - Whether or not you have child care, there are programs throughout the city that can be a benefit to your child and give you a needed break from parenting your child alone. Those include free classes, camps and other programs.
You can speak to your caseworker, lawyer, social worker, advocate in your lawyer’s office, or other young parents to find out more about these options. You can learn about after-school and summer programs that are part of New York City’s Department of Youth and Community Development Out of School Time here or call the Department of Youth and Community Development at 1-800-246-4646.
You can find out about programs in your Zip Code here.
You can learn more about free and low-cost summer camps here.
You can also do internet searches for free programs for children in New York City. Lots of settlement houses and community centers provide free programming. You can also go to any city gym and ask about discounts or free memberships.
If you are not in school or working, you still need a break sometimes. If you have a child under age three or four and you are not in school, working, in a work-training program, or actively looking for work, you might not have a legal right to child care, but all parents need a break sometimes, especially parents who are with their children all day!
If you are parenting full-time, you can ask your foster parent, group home staff, or a friend or family member if they would be willing to watch your child, but it is important to know that they are not required to watch your child. If they do agree to watch your child, you want to make sure to agree on how long you will be gone, that you have left everything your child will need during your absence, and that your child is with someone safe.
You can read more, in this website's section on neglect to make sure you make safe child care arrangements that keep CPS out of your life.
IMPORTANT NOTE: If people in your family have been charged with abuseThe Office of Children and Family Services defines abuse as being when a parent or person legally responsible for a child causes the child significant physical injury, creates a great risk of physical injury, or sexually abuses a child or neglectWhen a child under age 18 experiences physical, mental, or emotional impairment, or is in imminent danger of becoming impaired, as a result of the inability to exercise a minimum degree of care by their parent or other legally responsible caregiver. In New York, neglect is defined by Soc. Serv. Law § 371; Family Court Act § 1012. Neglect can be physical, medical, educational, or emotional, and may include a parent failing to provide adequate supervision, food, medical care, appropriate clothing, or access to education. Neglect could also include leaving a child alone or with an inappropriate caretaker, insulting a child, making the child feel afraid, or taking drugs or drinking alcohol to the point of not being able to adequately take care of a child. or have a criminal background, that doesn’t mean they can’t help you care for your baby, but it does mean that someone might raise safety concerns if you’re leaving your baby with them without addressing the issues that led to their CPS cases, even if it was a long time ago.
You should talk to your lawyer about who you want in your baby’s life. Your lawyer can help you figure out how to address any safety concerns so that you can have the support you need without having to hide, or worry about someone assuming you’re not keeping your baby safe.
If Your Child Has Special Needs
When children have special needs, figuring out why your child is struggling can be confusing and upsetting. Sometimes parents worry about what it means for their children's future or that they did something wrong as a parent. It’s also hard to know what’s just a phase that your child will grow out of.
When children have special needs, this does not mean that they’re not smart or capable or that they won't be successful. Children with special needs can be unusually gifted. But it does mean that they might need extra support to reach their full potential. There are different kinds of supports available for children with special needs, and the earlier you get support for your child, the better.
Read about Early Intervention Services and your child’s developmental stages here and here.
The psychologist’s waiting room was dim and cozy but my daughter was impatient, running up and down. Several doctors came out to see who was causing the ruckus. Finally, my daughter’s psychologist came out. She sat quietly observing my daughter for a few minutes, jotting down notes and asking me questions.
Learn more about services you may be able to get for your young child in New York City here and speak to your legal team about additional resources.
Access a guide detailing how you may be able to access services for your child ages three to five from the Department of Education’s Committee on Preschool Special Education (CPSE).
Read an interview about the process of getting your school-aged child in an Individualized Education Plan here.
Connect to advocates who can help you get your child supports and services or call Advocates for Children Helpline at 866-427-6033.
Fathers’ Rights
This dad didn’t have a father in his life, but he’s changing that with his own kids. Hear how he makes pretend campfires with them in their living room.
Listen to a young father in care discuss how he managed his fears when he was expecting his first child.
Fathers, like all parents, have the right to care for and be with their child; being in foster care does not take that away from you.
As a father in foster care, like any other father, you have parental rights unless a judge decides that you may create risk of harm for your child. You have the right to ask for full or shared custody of your child, and you have the right to visit your child and have your child visit you if you don’t have custody.
Fathers often find that mothers get all the attention and they feel left out in the cold, but the evidence is overwhelming that fathers are important in their children’s lives, and that fathers need support, too.
Read more about how to find support and how to protect your right to parent your child:
Co-parenting support. You can be a parent to your child whether or not you are together with the child’s mother/birth parentBirth parent refers to the biological parents of the child.. It can help to attend co-parenting classes that can teach you both about your child’s development, how to communicate about your child, and how to address conflicts. You can ask your caseworker about co-parenting classes.
Support just for fathers. Some parts of parenting are true for parents of any gender, but fatherhood also comes with its own challenges, like dealing with the old-fashioned notion that fathers are mainly there to provide for their children financially. Fatherhood support groups can help you address the challenges that are unique to fathers.
You can learn more about fatherhood programs and other resources here.
Read this interview by the leader of a fathers’ support group about how young fathers can be there for their children.
This story by a young father in foster care explores what it was like for him starting out as a father..
Establishing paternity. If you are not married and you want to have legal rights as a father, it’s important to acknowledge and record the fact that you’re the father. This is called establishing paternityThe legal establishment of the identity of a child’s father..
Ideally, your name would be on the baby’s birth certificate. It is not enough for the mother or birth parent to simply give the child your last name. In order to get your name on the baby’s birth certificate, you must sign an Acknowledgment of Paternity at the hospital. This document is important and can act as proof of your rights as a father. To learn more about signing an Acknowledgment of Paternity, click here.
If your name is not on the birth certificate, you should speak to your lawyer about other ways of establishing paternity. You can also go to Family Court and file a paternity petition at no cost to you. If the mother or birth parent says someone else is the father, or if either of you would like to be absolutely sure of paternity, the judge may order a DNA test to prove whether you are the father. Once you have paternity established, you have the right to file for custody and spend family time with your child just like the mother.
It’s important to know that you will have responsibilities once you have established that you are the child’s legal father, including paying child support.
Child Support. Once you are legally established as the father, you will also be expected to pay child support. This can be stressful, confusing, and frustrating for a lot of young fathers who may not be earning much or any money themselves. You may want to speak to your lawyer, your caseworker or people in a fatherhood support group about what this might mean for you and your child. You should also speak with the child’s mother/birth parent about what you both expect to do, now and in the future, to support a baby.
Click here for more information. (HRA’s Child Support Handbook for Noncustodial Parents, available online at http://bit.ly/NCPHandbook. Additional information can be found online at ManageYourSupport and www.nyc.gov/hra/ocsee, or by calling the New York State Child Support HelpLine (888) 208-4485; TTY (Hearing Impaired): (866) 875-9975.)
Custody and Visitation. If you are a father or co-parent and you want to petition for family time or for joint or full custody of your child, you should talk with your caseworker and your lawyer. They can assist you in getting connected to resources that can help you learn more about your rights. You can also go to the “petition room” in Family Court in the jurisdiction where your child lives and fill out a petition to ask for custody or family time.
If the baby’s mother/birthing parent decides that they do not want you involved as a parent, the judge will schedule a hearing for each of you to put forth evidence to support why you should or should not be in your child’s life, or the judge may first order that you and the other parent engage in mediation. That means that the judge will assign you someone whose job it is to help you work out a custody or visits agreement. If you are unable to work out an agreement with the co-parent, the judge will hold a hearing and make a decision about custody and family time.
If the baby’s mother/birthing parent loses custody or decides to give up custody at birth, you should be able to ask for custody of your child, or play an active role in where your child is placed.
You should talk to your lawyer about how to stay involved in your child’s life.
Click here to read the story of one young father who gained custody of his baby after the mother lost custody shortly after birth.
To learn more about filing for custody of or visitation with your child, you can contact LIFT/Legal Information for Families today at (212) 343-1122 or go to https://www.liftonline.org/
Visiting your child in foster care or having your child visit you - You should be able to visit your child in your co-parent’s foster home or residence or in your own foster home or residence on a regular basis. Once you and your co-parent have worked out a visiting arrangement that you both agree on, and you’re both in compliance of the rules of the foster home or residence, no one should tell you that you don’t have the right to visit your child unless a judge has determined that your child is not safe with you.
In addition, your child should be allowed to visit your family members unless a judge has determined that your child would be at risk of harm while spending time with them. You and they do NOT need a safety clearance unless the agency through which your child is placed has specific concerns about safety.
IMPORTANT NOTE: According to ACS’s Guide to Working With Young Parents in Out of Home Care, “Case planners need not clear a [co-parent or their] family members through the Statewide Central Register of Child Abuse and Maltreatment (SCR) or perform a criminal history check unless specific, articulable safety concerns arise. Even when a father or family member has a SCR report or criminal history, this should not automatically preclude visiting. The case planner should make a balanced and unbiased assessment of a family’s current circumstances.”
If you are being kept from visiting with your child for any reason, speak with your legal teamA team that represents you in family court. You may have two separate legal teams: one that represents you as a young person in foster care, and a second that represents you if you become the subject of an investigation for abuse or neglect or if you go to court as a respondent parent in a child protective case. The two legal teams can collaborate with your permission, and support you in both types of cases.
Both of your legal teams are made up of a lawyer, social worker, and advocate. Your lawyer is responsible for representing your best interests in and out of court. They will advocate for your needs in court, and explain the legal process to you. If you face abuse or neglect allegations, they will respond to those allegations.
The social worker will work with your lawyer and your advocate to ensure that your needs are heard and understood, and, if you are facing allegations against you, to understand the circumstances that led to them. Your social worker or your advocate can work to connect you to supports and services that are right for you. Your social worker cannot represent you in court nor can they provide legal advice, but they can attend conferences with you and speak with your caseworker on your behalf.
Your advocate is a trained professional who is responsible for helping you navigate the child welfare system and advocating for your rights. Like your social worker, your advocate can also help connect you to supports and services that are right for you. Many, though not all, advocates have been youth in care or parents who were impacted by the child welfare system themselves, and may be able to understand some of what you are experiencing because of their own experiences in the system. They cannot represent you in court nor provide legal advice. But they can attend conferences with you and speak with your caseworker on your behalf. or caseworker.
Being the Best Parent You Can Be
Growing up in care, it’s easy to believe that no one cares and no one will listen, but part of the job of being a parent is gaining the confidence to speak up for what your child needs. This mom found the strength to talk to the director of her son’s day care.
This dad didn’t have a father in his life, but he’s changing that with his own kids. Hear how he makes pretend campfires with them in their living room.
If you’re a young parent in foster care, you’re likely determined to give your child the best childhood possible, especially if your own childhood was painful. At times, you may also worry about whether you have what it takes, even when you’re just facing normal parenting challenges that all parents face.
There are so many ways to find support as a young parent. You can read more about types of supports and services here.
You can also learn more about parenting by reading books or looking for answers to your questions online. If you’re not sure where to start, ask a librarian to show you the parenting section of the library as a first step. Another great way to grow as a parent is by reading how other young parents who grew up in care became the best parents they could be.
