You may be excited and scared to finally be leaving foster care. Before you go, it’s important to make plans for yourself and your child.
Getting everything in place can feel overwhelming, but remember, you only need to take one step at a time. The sooner you get started the better. You should ask for as much help as you need from your caseworker, a parent or youth advocate, your legal team, or anyone else who supports you.
For a checklist of steps you should take to get prepared for leaving care download the worksheet.
This mom remembers the money she wasted buying too many groceries when she was first on her own.
This mom recommends asking someone in care to take you shopping so you can learn how to budget before you’re on your own.
“One of the best things I did before leaving care was getting some work experience. I was able to get an internship through my agency by showing perseverance and going there all the time to ask the workers to give me some kind of work. It was hard to keep asking for help. But having that work experience on my resume did pay off when I aged out.”
-Dominique Arrington, former youth in foster care
IMPORTANT NOTE: When you leave foster care, you are eligible for a discharge grant of up to $1,000 based on your needs. This is not cash that is provided directly to you. Rather, with the help of your caseworker, you put together a list of what you need as you transition out of care. This list should include specific items and dollar amounts and must be approved by your agency. Once approved, your caseworker goes shopping with you with the discharge grant or you shop online together. The discharge grant can be used to buy items such as food, metro cards, bedding, furniture, clothing, toiletries, cookware, towels, cleaning products, and other necessary household items.
You are also eligible for a first-time moving assistance grant described later in this section.
Click here for more info about the discharge grant.
Sometimes young people sign themselves out of foster care before they turn 21, and then experience challenges. If you sign yourself out of care with your child, but your plan doesn’t work out and you want to return to foster care, you may be able to go back. To come back into care after you sign yourself out, you will need to meet the following criteria:
You must be 18-20 years old and have had a goal of another planned permanent living arrangement (APPLAA term created by the 1997 Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA), which stands for Another Planned Permanent Living Arrangement. It means that the child welfare agency is responsible for the care and custody of the child until a living situation is arranged where the youth will remain until adulthood. APPLA is only a permanency option when other options such as reunification, relative placement, adoption, or legal guardianship have been ruled out.) at the time you left foster care.
It must not be more than 24 months (two years) since your discharge from foster care.
You must have no reasonable alternative to foster care.
You must agree to re-enter foster care. Keep in mind that there is a process for re-entry, including a conference and approval from ACS.
You must agree to enroll in and attend an appropriate educational or vocational program, unless it is unnecessary or inappropriate, based on your individual circumstances.
If you are interested in coming back into foster care after having signed yourself out, contact your attorney, foster care agency, ACS’s Older Youth Services Unit at olderyouthsupport@acs.nyc.gov, or ACS’s Teen Specialist Unit at acs.sm.tsu@acs.nyc.gov. You can also email FPSReEntry@acs.nyc.gov with your request to return to care. Read this story by a young mom who decided to AWOL from care when she found out she was pregnant, and signed herself back in order to get more stable and find housing before she aged out.
Housing2
Because this mom didn’t know she was entitled to a discharge grant when she left foster care, she wound up swiping a pot from her mother’s kitchen. Don’t get caught like she did. Know what financial help you have the right to when you age out of the system.
If you are aging out or signing yourself out of foster care, the good news is that your foster care agency should help you find housing, and ACS should help you pay your security deposit and first month’s rent.
It’s important to have your caseworker or the housing specialist at your foster care agency explain all your available options, including public housing, supportive housing, and the ACS housing subsidyA grant or gift of money given to a person, business, or institution either directly (direct payment) or indirectly (tax cut), usually by the government or a government-backed institution. program.
You should also make sure your caseworker or housing specialist helps you submit all the appropriate paperwork. Start asking about your housing options as early as you can. When you turn 18, aging out might seem far away, but it’s not too soon to start asking about your options. You will want to get really serious about getting your housing paperwork in order at least one year before you leave care.
Make sure you follow up with your caseworker and/or housing specialist every few months. If you are not getting the help you need, speak with your legal teamA team that represents you in family court. You may have two separate legal teams: one that represents you as a young person in foster care, and a second that represents you if you become the subject of an investigation for abuse or neglect or if you go to court as a respondent parent in a child protective case. The two legal teams can collaborate with your permission, and support you in both types of cases.
Both of your legal teams are made up of a lawyer, social worker, and advocate. Your lawyer is responsible for representing your best interests in and out of court. They will advocate for your needs in court, and explain the legal process to you. If you face abuse or neglect allegations, they will respond to those allegations.
The social worker will work with your lawyer and your advocate to ensure that your needs are heard and understood, and, if you are facing allegations against you, to understand the circumstances that led to them. Your social worker or your advocate can work to connect you to supports and services that are right for you. Your social worker cannot represent you in court nor can they provide legal advice, but they can attend conferences with you and speak with your caseworker on your behalf.
Your advocate is a trained professional who is responsible for helping you navigate the child welfare system and advocating for your rights. Like your social worker, your advocate can also help connect you to supports and services that are right for you. Many, though not all, advocates have been youth in care or parents who were impacted by the child welfare system themselves, and may be able to understand some of what you are experiencing because of their own experiences in the system. They cannot represent you in court nor provide legal advice. But they can attend conferences with you and speak with your caseworker on your behalf..
You can also contact the ACS Housing Support and Services Unit at 212-341-8979 or go in person to the Manhattan office at 150 William Street, 8th Floor. You can also contact ACS’ Teen Specialist Unit at acs.sm.tsu@acs.nyc.gov.
You can read about some of your housing options below:
The New York City Housing Authority (NYCHA). Young people ages 18 to 21 leaving foster care are given priority for NYCHA housing. If you are 21 and recently left care with a goal of APPLAA term created by the 1997 Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA), which stands for Another Planned Permanent Living Arrangement. It means that the child welfare agency is responsible for the care and custody of the child until a living situation is arranged where the youth will remain until adulthood. APPLA is only a permanency option when other options such as reunification, relative placement, adoption, or legal guardianship have been ruled out. and are at risk of becoming homeless, then you are also given priority for NYCHA housing.
To qualify for NYCHA housing, you must show that you have or will have some form of income, whether that’s from a job, public assistance, or Supplemental Security Income (SSI). Your foster agency can help you with this, including helping you set up a public assistance account if needed. If you are employed or receiving SSI, you will be required to pay 30% of your monthly income towards rent.
It’s important to know that you can apply to NYCHA housing even if you don’t have income now, as long as your agency writes a letter accompanying your application explaining how long you have been in care, and how much income you can expect to receive once you leave the system.
You must also pass a criminal background check. If you are going to live with your co-parentSomeone who shares in the custody and care of your child., they must also go through a criminal background check. You should know, though, that if you have a criminal background, but your record does not include any felonies, your caseworker or lawyer may be able to help you go to court to obtain a copy of your certificate of disposition that will allow you to apply for public housing. If you have a felony conviction, obtaining that clearance will be harder, but you should still talk to your lawyer, caseworker, or housing specialist about what is possible. If your prior convictions mean you don’t qualify for NYCHA housing, you may still qualify for supportive housing.
You should talk to your housing specialist if you want to live with a roommate or co-parent. You should also talk to your housing specialist if you are the noncustodial parentA parent who doesn’t have the legal right to live with the child. and want to be able to have your child spend time with you overnight in your apartment.
In order to receive the foster care priority with NYCHA, your caseworker must assemble and submit your application packet on your behalf.
IMPORTANT NOTE: When you have a child, you qualify for a NYCHA one-bedroom apartment rather than a studio. Your application must include your child/children in order to obtain a one-bedroom apartment.
Supportive Housing. You may be eligible for supportive housing through the NYC 15/15 Supportive Housing Initiative. This housing offers tenants and their children their own apartments as well as access to supportive services like case management, mental health services, job programs, and public benefits advocacy. You are eligible if you have been in foster care and have a health or behavioral health condition, vocational or educational challenges, have experienced frequent homelessness, or face other challenges to independent living. Supportive housing is available from when you turn 18 until you turn 26.
Staff at your foster care agency must complete the application for you to be considered for NYC 15/15, and you must agree to certain testing, like psychological evaluations, which will be included in the application packet.
To qualify for NYC 15/15, you must show that you have or will have some form of income, whether from a job, public assistance or Supplemental Security Income (SSI), and that you will be able to pay 30% of your income towards rent.
You can apply for supportive housing even if you don’t have income right now, as long as your foster care agency writes a letter for your application explaining how long you have been in care, and how much income you can expect to receive once you leave the system.
ACS Housing Subsidy Program. The ACS Housing Subsidy for youth exiting foster care has three parts that you may be eligible to receive. It’s important to know that the help you receive from all three parts of the ACS Housing Subsidy combined cannot exceed about $10,800. This total amount may change year to year. Be sure to ask your caseworker, legal team, or the Teen Specialist Unit about the exact amount that you are eligible for.
IMPORTANT NOTE: The ACS Housing Subsidy is different from and is provided in addition to your discharge grant.
The three elements of the ACS Housing Subsidy include:
Rent support: If you secure an apartment through the private market, and have a contract that shows that you are paying rent, ACS will pay up to $300 per month for your rent for up to three years or until you reach a total value of $10,800 (whichever comes first).
First-time moving assistance: All youth who age out or sign themselves out of foster care are entitled to moving assistance. It’s important to know that money for first-time moving assistance will be deducted from the $10,800 total you are allowed.
If you are moving into an apartment OR NYCHA housing, you can ask for up to $1,800 from ACS to be used toward your first month’s rent, security deposit, broker’s fees, moving expenses, exterminating fees, and/or essential furniture. How much you receive depends on your rent and other costs you are facing.
If you are moving into supportive housing, you are allowed up to $645 to be used for your first month’s rent, security deposit, and furniture. This lower amount is because supportive apartments are furnished and the rent is subsidized, though in some circumstances you may be allowed the full $1,800 if circumstances require it, such as for extermination fees.
If you fall behind paying your rent, you can ask the ACS Housing Office for up to $1,800 from your housing subsidy to be used to pay your rent if you fall behind on your rent.
It is important to know, however, that this money is not guaranteed. Whether you are awarded a one-time payment to help you pay your rent is decided on a case-by-case basis by the housing office, which will determine whether you fell behind on your rent because of an emergency, such as the sudden loss of your income. If ACS determines that you fell behind on your rent because you failed to budget your money responsibly, they are less likely to provide you with the subsidy.
STAYING CONNECTED AND GETTING CONNECTED
One of the hardest parts about leaving foster care, especially when you’re a parent, is that often your housing winds up being someplace you’ve never been before and where you don’t know anyone. That can make it harder for you to get the support you need, especially as a parent.
Talk to your caseworker or housing specialist while you’re looking for housing about where the people who support you live. Discuss what options you have, if any, to live near those people.
If you move into a neighborhood where you don’t know anyone, there are steps you can take to make sure you and your child don’t become isolated.
You can ask your caseworker or a friend to help you get to know your new neighborhood before you move in by walking around together and exploring it. To locate more resources in your neighborhood, you can also use this ACS weblink. See if you can find:
Laundromats
Grocery stores
A food pantry
Playgrounds
Libraries
Community centers
Places of worship
Elementary schools
Childcare/nursery schools
Libraries and community centers often have programming for parents with small children.
Your child’s school is another good place to learn about resources. Make an appointment to speak to the Parent Coordinator or attend a Parent Teacher Association meeting.
You can also find out whether your building has a tenant’s association that you can join or whether there are community board meetings in your neighborhood to attend.
For a list of places to find in your new neighborhood that you can print out and take with you download the worksheet.
When I first moved into my neighborhood with my son, I didn’t know about any of the resources in my neighborhood. But I have a passion for reading, so one of the first things I did was to find the local library.
Reading was also one of the main ways I helped my son find happiness and wonder during that time. He loved Doc McStuffins, the little girl who is a doctor that fixes broken toys. The books felt magical, like my son and I could go anywhere and do anything.
At the library, I also found much more than books. I found out about toddler time and reading time for kids and they had computers with cartoons and games. The Library also referred me to Mommy and Me classes, where my son was able to play with friends his age and I got tips from parents going through the same things as me.
-Sara Werner, Rise parent leader
Health Care
When you age out or sign yourself out of foster care, you and your child are eligible for Medicaid until you turn 26, or for as long as you qualify for financial reasons. Here’s how it works.
Transfer to Transitional Medicaid: Before you age out of foster care, your caseworker should help you transfer from Foster Care Medicaid to Transitional Medicaid by filling out a Medicaid recertification package. You can ask who will be submitting the paperwork for you, and when this will happen, at your six-month discharge meeting. Your caseworker or housing specialist should submit your paperwork to ACS at least two months before you leave care.
If your Transitional Medicaid is delayed for any reason, there is a special grace period given to young people aging out of foster care that will provide you up to four months of Medicaid coverage directly after you leave foster care, but your child will NOT be covered. That’s why it’s so important to make sure your caseworker fills out the paperwork for Transitional Medicaid for you AND your child in time for it to be processed.
If you have a child and are planning to leave foster care before you turn 21, you should also make sure your caseworker fills out a Medicaid recertification package for you and your child and submits it to ACS so you can transfer from Foster Care Medicaid to Transitional Medicaid at least two months before you leave care.
A special law in New York keeps your Medicaid active until you turn 21, regardless of your income or resources, as long as you continue residing in New York State. But if you leave foster care before you turn 21, your child will not automatically be entitled to Medicaid.
If you are not getting the help you need, talk to a member of your legal teamA team that represents you in family court. You may have two separate legal teams: one that represents you as a young person in foster care, and a second that represents you if you become the subject of an investigation for abuse or neglect or if you go to court as a respondent parent in a child protective case. The two legal teams can collaborate with your permission, and support you in both types of cases.
Both of your legal teams are made up of a lawyer, social worker, and advocate. Your lawyer is responsible for representing your best interests in and out of court. They will advocate for your needs in court, and explain the legal process to you. If you face abuse or neglect allegations, they will respond to those allegations.
The social worker will work with your lawyer and your advocate to ensure that your needs are heard and understood, and, if you are facing allegations against you, to understand the circumstances that led to them. Your social worker or your advocate can work to connect you to supports and services that are right for you. Your social worker cannot represent you in court nor can they provide legal advice, but they can attend conferences with you and speak with your caseworker on your behalf.
Your advocate is a trained professional who is responsible for helping you navigate the child welfare system and advocating for your rights. Like your social worker, your advocate can also help connect you to supports and services that are right for you. Many, though not all, advocates have been youth in care or parents who were impacted by the child welfare system themselves, and may be able to understand some of what you are experiencing because of their own experiences in the system. They cannot represent you in court nor provide legal advice. But they can attend conferences with you and speak with your caseworker on your behalf., ACS’s Teen Specialist Unit at acs.sm.tsu@acs.nyc.gov or ACS’s Medicaid Transitional Unit at fps.fostercare.med@acs.nyc.gov. If you are attending court, you can also let the judge know about your concerns.
IMPORTANT NOTE: Make sure your caseworker has the address where you will be living after you are discharged from foster care and uses that address in your paperwork, as that is where all future information and renewal forms will be sent. If you don’t know where you’ll be living, make a plan with your caseworker or housing specialist to ensure that you will receive your renewal forms no matter where you’re living.
IMPORTANT NOTE: In order to have someone at your agency help you fill out the Medicaid renewal package and submit it to ACS at least 60 days before you turn 21 or leave care, you will need personal documents, including:
Your birth certificate or permanent resident card if you’re not an American citizen
Your Social Security card
Your photo ID (usually either a driver’s license or state ID)
If you do not have these documents, or you need help or more information, contact your caseworker, a member of your legal team, ACS’s Teen Specialist Unit at acs.sm.tsu@acs.nyc.gov or ACS’s Medicaid Transitional Unit at fps.fostercare.med@acs.nyc.gov. If you are attending court, you can also let the judge know that you are in need of these and any other necessary documents.
Obtain your Transitional Medicaid card: Before you leave the system, your agency should provide you and your child with your transitional Medicaid cards so that you can make doctor’s appointments for yourself and your child. If you are having trouble obtaining your Transitional Medicaid card, speak to a member of your legal teamA team that represents you in family court. You may have two separate legal teams: one that represents you as a young person in foster care, and a second that represents you if you become the subject of an investigation for abuse or neglect or if you go to court as a respondent parent in a child protective case. The two legal teams can collaborate with your permission, and support you in both types of cases.
Both of your legal teams are made up of a lawyer, social worker, and advocate. Your lawyer is responsible for representing your best interests in and out of court. They will advocate for your needs in court, and explain the legal process to you. If you face abuse or neglect allegations, they will respond to those allegations.
The social worker will work with your lawyer and your advocate to ensure that your needs are heard and understood, and, if you are facing allegations against you, to understand the circumstances that led to them. Your social worker or your advocate can work to connect you to supports and services that are right for you. Your social worker cannot represent you in court nor can they provide legal advice, but they can attend conferences with you and speak with your caseworker on your behalf.
Your advocate is a trained professional who is responsible for helping you navigate the child welfare system and advocating for your rights. Like your social worker, your advocate can also help connect you to supports and services that are right for you. Many, though not all, advocates have been youth in care or parents who were impacted by the child welfare system themselves, and may be able to understand some of what you are experiencing because of their own experiences in the system. They cannot represent you in court nor provide legal advice. But they can attend conferences with you and speak with your caseworker on your behalf., contact ACS’s Teen Specialist Unit at acs.sm.tsu@acs.nyc.gov or ACS’ Transitional Medicaid Team at fps.fostercare.med@acs.nyc.gov. If you are attending court appearances, you can also let the judge know that you are still in need of your Transitional Medicaid card.
How to renew your Transitional Medicaid: Once your Transitional Medicaid is active, it’s only good for one year; you’ll need to renew it again every year after that. Medicaid will send you the renewal forms before the year ends, so make sure Medicaid always has your current address every time you move. If you don’t update your address, all future information and renewal forms from Medicaid will be sent to your discharge address.
IMPORTANT NOTE: If you need more help with Medicaid before or after you leave care, you can call the Medicaid Helpline at 1-888-692-6116.
Child Care
If you are working, in school, or in a vocational training program, the childcare that you have in place now should continue uninterrupted when you leave foster care. In order to ensure that your child care continues, your caseworker should contact the ACS Division of Early Care and Education as soon as possible to make sure that everything you need is in place.
Ask your caseworker if they have already done this for you and ask for paperwork that confirms that your childcare will continue. If the caseworker has not yet done this, make a plan for when this will happen. You can call together with your caseworker to make sure your child care continues after you leave the system. You can also talk to a member of your legal teamA team that represents you in family court. You may have two separate legal teams: one that represents you as a young person in foster care, and a second that represents you if you become the subject of an investigation for abuse or neglect or if you go to court as a respondent parent in a child protective case. The two legal teams can collaborate with your permission, and support you in both types of cases.
Both of your legal teams are made up of a lawyer, social worker, and advocate. Your lawyer is responsible for representing your best interests in and out of court. They will advocate for your needs in court, and explain the legal process to you. If you face abuse or neglect allegations, they will respond to those allegations.
The social worker will work with your lawyer and your advocate to ensure that your needs are heard and understood, and, if you are facing allegations against you, to understand the circumstances that led to them. Your social worker or your advocate can work to connect you to supports and services that are right for you. Your social worker cannot represent you in court nor can they provide legal advice, but they can attend conferences with you and speak with your caseworker on your behalf.
Your advocate is a trained professional who is responsible for helping you navigate the child welfare system and advocating for your rights. Like your social worker, your advocate can also help connect you to supports and services that are right for you. Many, though not all, advocates have been youth in care or parents who were impacted by the child welfare system themselves, and may be able to understand some of what you are experiencing because of their own experiences in the system. They cannot represent you in court nor provide legal advice. But they can attend conferences with you and speak with your caseworker on your behalf. or ACS’s Teen Specialist Unit at acs.sm.tsu@acs.nyc.gov.
If you leave foster care without childcare in place, you might still be able to get childcare afterward. You can find out about childcare through Early Learn at New York City’s Department of Education.
If you believe your child may have special needs, you can learn more about early interventionThe services and supports available for families with babies and young children with developmental delays and disabilities. services here.
Other Services and Supports
When you’re leaving care, you may want to leave all services behind. You may think, “I’ve been forced to go to enough services while I was in foster care.”
But parents who have already left the system say it’s good to know what’s out there. The more you know, the more you’re able to choose what’s right for you if you ever do want or need extra support.
“What we need most when we’re leaving care is support in believing in ourselves and knowing that we are capable.
I needed help getting out of my job at a restaurant, but I didn’t have the confidence that I could get better. Luckily, I kept in contact with someone from care who told me about a program called Grace Institute for Women. It gave me such great job training. It led me to internships. It helped me believe that I was more than a foster care kid who had a baby young.”
-Jasmin Gonzales, former youth in foster care
“Joining the young father’s program changed my life. The program provided me with parenting classes, job resources and mentorship. I was able to get information on child support and valuable life tools that have helped me become the father I am today.”
-James Milan, former youth in foster care
IMPORTANT NOTE: Some agencies have mentoring programs that continue after you leave care. If your agency doesn’t, ask your caseworker or the social worker or advocate at your lawyer’s office how you can connect to a mentor or other services now that can continue once you’re on your own.
Here are some resources that can help you find programs that may benefit you. It’s a good idea to start looking into what’s out there now, since there are some programs that you need to get connected to before you leave the system; others are only available to you after you’ve left care.
ACS’s ConnectMe website: ACS’s ConnectMe website lets you know about resources in or near your neighborhood. Click here to learn more.
NYC’s Human Resources Administration:This guide from NYC’S Human Resources Administration lets you know about benefits you may be eligible for.
NYC HRA also has a list of its centers based on zip code here.
Lastly, you can always call 311 to find out about New York City services.
ACS’s Teen Specialist Unit: You can ask for information from ACS’s Teen Specialist Unit (TSU) Program. The TSU can help you access health services, public benefits, housing, education, family planning, parenting skills cases, and vocational programs. You can contact TSU at acs.sm.tsu@acs.nyc.gov
Mentoring: This website can help you connect to a mentor in your area. And you can access information about New York State’s F.E.E.L. Mentoring program here.
Your Local Library: Libraries offer lots of activities for parents and young children, as well as for school-aged children. Librarians can also connect you to services and programs in your neighborhood. If you are moving into a new neighborhood, it’s a good idea to check out what services your local library has to offer. Find your local library branch here.
Your Child’s School: Your child’s school is a good place to learn about resources. Make an appointment to speak to the parent coordinator or attend a Parent Teacher Association meeting.
Community Centers, Gyms and Settlement Houses: Just by walking around your neighborhood and/or searching for organizations online using an app like Yelp you can find other neighborhood resources. Some places that other young parents have found helpful include community centers, recreation centers, settlement houses, and gyms.
Your Legal TeamA team that represents you in family court. You may have two separate legal teams: one that represents you as a young person in foster care, and a second that represents you if you become the subject of an investigation for abuse or neglect or if you go to court as a respondent parent in a child protective case. The two legal teams can collaborate with your permission, and support you in both types of cases.
Both of your legal teams are made up of a lawyer, social worker, and advocate. Your lawyer is responsible for representing your best interests in and out of court. They will advocate for your needs in court, and explain the legal process to you. If you face abuse or neglect allegations, they will respond to those allegations.
The social worker will work with your lawyer and your advocate to ensure that your needs are heard and understood, and, if you are facing allegations against you, to understand the circumstances that led to them. Your social worker or your advocate can work to connect you to supports and services that are right for you. Your social worker cannot represent you in court nor can they provide legal advice, but they can attend conferences with you and speak with your caseworker on your behalf.
Your advocate is a trained professional who is responsible for helping you navigate the child welfare system and advocating for your rights. Like your social worker, your advocate can also help connect you to supports and services that are right for you. Many, though not all, advocates have been youth in care or parents who were impacted by the child welfare system themselves, and may be able to understand some of what you are experiencing because of their own experiences in the system. They cannot represent you in court nor provide legal advice. But they can attend conferences with you and speak with your caseworker on your behalf., Your Caseworker, Your Independent Living Coordinator, or Parent or Youth Advocates at Your Agency: Your legal team, your caseworker and others should be able to help you learn about resources in the community before you leave care. After you leave care, you may no longer officially have a legal team or caseworker, but they may be willing to help you informally if you have questions or concerns.
Trauma-Focused Therapy: Sometimes it takes a few years after parents leave foster care to feel ready and able to address some of the loss and pain they’ve experienced in their lives. Trauma-focused therapy was created for people who’ve gone through particularly hard times and want to make sense of what they’ve experienced and feel more in control of their emotions.
Asking for Help
It’s hard to ask for help, especially when you’re feeling vulnerable. But this mom got a little pushy in order to make sure she had some employment on her resume before she left care.
After you age out of care, there will be times when you still need help — as all parents do. Reaching out to your people now, meaning anyone in your life who already supports you, can make it easier to turn to them for help when you leave the system. It can be a good idea to discuss with them what role they might play in your life after you leave foster care, and the specific ways you might be able to rely on them.
If you don’t feel like you have enough support, talk to a member of your legal teamA team that represents you in family court. You may have two separate legal teams: one that represents you as a young person in foster care, and a second that represents you if you become the subject of an investigation for abuse or neglect or if you go to court as a respondent parent in a child protective case. The two legal teams can collaborate with your permission, and support you in both types of cases.
Both of your legal teams are made up of a lawyer, social worker, and advocate. Your lawyer is responsible for representing your best interests in and out of court. They will advocate for your needs in court, and explain the legal process to you. If you face abuse or neglect allegations, they will respond to those allegations.
The social worker will work with your lawyer and your advocate to ensure that your needs are heard and understood, and, if you are facing allegations against you, to understand the circumstances that led to them. Your social worker or your advocate can work to connect you to supports and services that are right for you. Your social worker cannot represent you in court nor can they provide legal advice, but they can attend conferences with you and speak with your caseworker on your behalf.
Your advocate is a trained professional who is responsible for helping you navigate the child welfare system and advocating for your rights. Like your social worker, your advocate can also help connect you to supports and services that are right for you. Many, though not all, advocates have been youth in care or parents who were impacted by the child welfare system themselves, and may be able to understand some of what you are experiencing because of their own experiences in the system. They cannot represent you in court nor provide legal advice. But they can attend conferences with you and speak with your caseworker on your behalf., your caseworker, or the parent or youth advocate at your agency or about it.
Download the worksheet that you can use with the social worker or advocate in your lawyer’s office or your caseworker to identify a support network you can turn to after you leave care.
My son was 2 when I aged out of foster care. Soon I was going to college full time, working 40 hours a week and paying my own child care. Things were easier when I had the group home to help. Once I left care, I had nothing. If I failed, I’d be screwed—and to the shelter we’d go.
I wanted to prove that, just because I grew up in care, there wasn’t anything wrong with me. I wanted to complete college in four years and then get a rewarding job. I didn’t want having a child young to stop me.
But because of my busy schedule, I barely saw my son. Monday through Thursday, I would take my son to daycare, then go to school and work. On Thursday evenings I’d drop him at his father’s for the weekend and then go back to work. I was always super tired and backed up with housework so I often ignored him even when we were together.
At the time, I also didn’t know what to do about his behavior. If we were in the store and he wanted something, or we walked a route he wasn’t used to, he would throw himself on the ground, screaming.
His tantrums were particularly bad on the subway. One time a man yelled at me, “When the hell are you getting off? You can’t shut him up.” I felt like people were always staring and thinking, “This is why teens shouldn’t have kids.” I felt like it was my fault I was in foster care, my fault I was a young mother, my fault I lived in the projects, my fault I was poor, my fault my son was bad. I got what I deserved.
CONCRETE HELP
Then the cost of his daycare increased and I could no longer afford it. I quit school and for five months took care of my son during the week and only worked weekends.
During that time, I felt panicked that we’d wind up in the shelter like many other foster youth. I also filled out the food stamp form incompletely and was left without food for two months. I had to ask a manager at work to let me take food home for free. I want to help my son more, but not having money makes that harder.
Finally one day I melted down and went running to my public housing office, shaking, and exploded in tears. The woman there let me cry. Then she adjusted my rent, based on my current pay stubs, down $200 a month so I wouldn’t be evicted. She also connected me to a social worker who helped me find a daycare where my son could go for free.
HELP FOR MY SON
The daycare was great, with small classes and nice teachers. Soon, I was able to pick up more work and I even had time to join a gym.
Then one day my son’s teacher told me that when she asked him to bring his chair to a spot at the table, he walked around the table in confusion, and he also had tantrums in class.
When a group home staff member had asked me if I wanted my son evaluated, I felt that something wrong with him meant there was something wrong with me. But I knew there had to be a reason for my son’s behavior and I trusted the teacher, so I agreed to an evaluation.
We discovered that my son needed speech therapy, and over time his behavior changed drastically because he learned to use his words. When I saw how well he was doing, I felt guilty. All this time I’d gotten angry with him when he simply didn’t understand me. But I also felt good that I’d made a choice that gave him the best shot at achieving his dreams.
-Jasmin Gonzalez, former youth in foster care, Rise, excerpted from Trapped, Fall 2017
Worksheet: Checklist for Leaving Care
